Homeslice needs to figure out he's so 2006
and she was grinding on the wall, purring at guys she liked at the pregame...
I have no valid justification for peeing in your kitchen, but I don't think it's worth breaking up over.
He said he has something to give me... I swear to God if it's a joint or a framed picture of his penis i'm going to kill him
Hey, can you come over and kill me real quick
to whom it may concern. if i am dead in colleens bed it is not her fault i slept in my scarf. my dads middle name is ronald.
We're both on the slippery slope toward middle age...and really shame riddled bar experiences
I still count it as showing your tits. Even though the wall was the only one who saw anything. Your boyfriend was pissed.
Liz is crying about burritos again.
No more stories ab the wkend for co-workers... No one else found "and I didn't have pants on when I got home Saturday night" as funny as I did.
Apparently hitting a bong with your mouth half numb is hilarious but frustrating!
dave might be using McDoubles to pay for dances
he has gotten at least 7 lap dances out back
last night we watched this really loud chick try and pick up this smoking french guy who's english was sooo bad. she finally pointed at her beer and then her vagine
gross
like you've never done an interperative dance for sex, please
We were making eye contact while i was throwing up.
if I start to respond to these political texts with a middle finger emoji - do you think they will get the hint?
Randomize
