He looked like the mexican version of Steve Carrell with a unibrow.
You don't understand, alcohol has become a thing of survival for me and without it I can't function as a normal human being
Medicore although I woke up with the business card of a Turkish lawyer called Mufasa...
Abby. I can text perfectly. I pledge allegiance to the flag of the united states of america. and to the republic, for which we stand, one nation under god indivisible and with liberty and justice for all god bless america
You put your shot glass in your waistband and then told me how convinent it was.
Dude she's on meds. He has a ginormous penis. Ur A dumbass. That concludes our feelings chat. Dim Sumday?
Can I just put my face in your boobs and forget the world?
I'll give you $10 to get a dick pic with a gecko on it.
This is what my life has come to. Like, I may or may not have just stolen pizza from the guy I just hooked up with's fridge when I left...
i was really hopeful that i could make it to the end of the semester without doing something stupid enough to destroy our relationship but i guess i was wrong..........thanks vodka
I think I'm leaving the streamers and balloons up from 4th of july till after he stops by. It'll be like the universe is celebrating his massive dick.
Xanax and full house Tuesday is now Percocet Sunday
I'm covered in bite marks and have a cracked rib - was a good weekend
I THINK HE DOES. OMG!!!!! OMG I FUCKED A GUY W A FAKE LEG AND I DIDN'T EVEN KNOW!!!!!!????!!!!!!!!!
I just tried to dye my pubic hair teal for her
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