it was so cute when you were pretending to have willpower
Apparently Chef Boyardee is the only guy I'm taking home tonight.
I lost count of how many people I peed on last night.
Going to the hospital for stitches on my balls. Mom walked in on me manscaping with an electric razor. Tell NOBODY.
he made his penis look like a sprinkler when he was coming. it was pretty cool actually.
I dont even care how hung over I am, and how shitty this bus ride will be. That was the best sex of my life and it's a beautiful morning.
Ecstasy body chair massage shower sex fest this week?
If I have to give a UPS guy a lap dance, you owe me a drink.
well after pounding on the ceiling for 5 mins i just went up there to tell them to shut up.. 2 hours later i'm naked, high, lying on their kitchen floor. it escalated so quickly
I think it really helped to be hungover at accepted students day. it gave me a good feel for how it would be everyday if I go there.
I like that our conversation ended with "im gonna go get pregnant goodnight"
He should know he can't successfully wrestle in pudding fully clothed. Amateur.
I don't know man. She said my cock made her promises my heart couldn't fulfill.
How was jagerbomb pong?
It was like communism. Great in theory. Terrible when put into practice
I think the moment she woke up butt naked on a mattress with her phone still on her face was the point she knew last night was fucked up
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