where are you?
in the room with the baby pig
k im coming soon
I woke up to him trying to put his dick in my mouth. When I asked him what he was doing he said he was trying to make me stop snoring...
His facebook profile says he's interested in men, but i'm choosing to ignore that
no, its his 'welcome back from rehab' party.
She wouldn't stop saying her own name. Like a damn pokemon.
i jsut feel off the bus, but its ok the driver let me back on. a woman hid her baby from me..
I transported a midget tonight. He got beat up by another, midgetier midget. Is it bad that this is what makes me feel compassion after 15 years of being a paramedic?
Midgetier?
Smaller, yet meaner.
My arms are hairy. And so Is my left leg. Just my left leg, the right is smooth.
That kid i sell weed to just had his mom give him a ride over here she waited in the car while he bought a bag
I'm not really sure if I peed the bed last night or if the cat was trying to get back at me for using her litter box last weekend
All I know is that I woke up in a soccer players' dorm, and he said that I kept telling him my mouth was a "net for his balls" last night at the bar..
All the movies on cable here are either porn or Bollywood. I am never leaving this hotel.
I'm trying to blow this guy down here can you please get my husband out of the house.
I have nice boobs. Don't wanna deprive anyone of the experience.
You're a saint.
i should probably stop doing things just because i think they’re funny. i’m not going to.
Randomize
