Does transporting jello shots count as driving with an open container?
I opened my browser to a doctor page titled "serious pain under left side of ribcage". Last night must have been healthy.
idk if you're aware of this...but we could potentially have the greatest hate sex...ever.
the lighter is IN the bong. I don't know what to do
Just saw a woman with a Pomeranian in her bra. Way to step up your game Seattle.
Just looked in the mirror and i look like ive been gang banged. Im so proud of my boyfriend it almost hurts
The sound guy for the band told me id make a great valentines gift for his bisexual girlfriend
captain cockblock got me again last night so i put a squirrel in his room and jamed the door shut
ok. i'm ready for you to come back and test the structural integrity of this futon.
I ripped my favorite jeans crossing that fence
That sucks
It's an upgrade! I didn;t even have to unzip my pants to pee!
Glad to know I rate above a cabbage on the parenting scale.
It's snowing in May and there was a law school party at the strip club. The end is near.
I totally have a huge crush on him though which is fucking up my "classy she-demon with limited feelings" vibe
Note to self, the correct response when a guy tells you he likes you as a person is not "ew"
Btw I puked in your glovebox
Randomize
