so i did it. i barked while i was ejaculating. not a word was said by either of us afterwards.
so how much did i say i owed you?
$5 and a new fuck buddy.
As far as classy things to do in front of your ex go, throwing up on your own shirt is not one of them.
I just told someone i was in "addition and subtraction 160".......and they believed me.
just mention it in a side comment sometime today... like oh by the way i have a daughter but um yeah my day was good
So apparently I ran down the hall to another party and started handing out uncooked spaghetti to strangers. You'd be surprised how many drunk people will eat raw noodles.
I just accidentally stumbled into an AA meeting...I think its a sign
I finally got her to squirt but it wasnt a stream, it came out in the form of mist. I felt like I was in rainforest cafe.
At first i thought she was a sexily dressed toddler. but not in a pedophile way, in a really on drugs way
the intervention consisted of my aunt taking me to chuck-e-cheezs and telling me that this was my future - either as a mom or as a waitress - unless i stopped fucking around.
did she buy you pizza?
Hmmm. I never knew the difference. I've done either one and had stronger or weaker versions but usually if i took enough, i tripped balls. That should be a PSA for kids... if you take drugs and the drugs are weak, just take more drugs... The More You Know
my mom just told me I should hit it and quit apparently she does not like this new girl
Your children are clinging to me like my teets are full of bountiful milkiness. They're driving me nuts. I felt my uterus shrivel up.
Sometimes i think i need to stop drinking because i can't afford losing so many panties anymore
I'm getting 800 nuggets from McDonald's
Just got home, my brothers stoned and he got a high score on COD.. He just asked me if I wanted to have a celebrational yogurt with him. Wtf?
Randomize