it's business casual sex. like no kissing, shake hands after, occasional frequency
Just figured out why my bed smells like weed: I just found a bowl in my pillow case?
girl in the front row yawned. double jointed jaw. i know where i'll be sitting next class
I picked her up for our first date on a fucking horse. Of course I got a BJ.
So there I was.....spitting on my goldfish just to keep it alive.
I'd like to say he was whispering sweet nothings into my ear all night but really he was just whispering "pussyyy"
What do you think it is?
It's a boy. I know it. She always manages to have a cock inside her somehow.
He threw up the X he took like 30min before then when we thought his antics were over... BOOM! He tried to pee out a light he was holding.
I gotta say, I do way better with the ladies than I do the men. So if it turns out being gay is a choice, then I'm going to go ahead and choose it.
Grindr hookup awareness: always make sure that you agree to blow one person and they aren't bringing a Friend/boyfriend. Shits weird when you're sober.
I found you walking along the street hammered. You walked up said hi and handed me a beer.
He stopped his car in the middle of ongoing traffic to ask me to marry him. Then he got pulled over. Yeah I'd say the slutty Dallas Cowboys costume was a success.
Your hotness may or may not have landed him in jail.
First poop in my apartment for the summer, officially settled in. :)
dave might be using McDoubles to pay for dances
he has gotten at least 7 lap dances out back
I just discovered my new vice. Cotton candy vodka. Its like a carnival in my mouth, puking of the tilt-a-whirl included.
Randomize
