We walk out of his house and his dad is there, so I had to meet him and shake his hand pretending that same hand hadn't been down his son's pants five minutes earlier
Being hungover naked and coloring my hair. I guess I am not naked I have black latex gloves on. Give me a call.
im coming over.
Why do girls get to wear clothes that say "do me now" but guys don't have that kind of option?
I mean, what would the male equivalent of a slutty dress be?
I have a new drinking limit. I'll stop when I know I'm going to untag the picture that was just taken of me.
My friend is getting herself a tramp stamp that says "property of the half blood prince".
Doing lines of cocaine in the bathroom and the word 'better' do not belong in the same sentence.
My only regret is not throwing up on the conveyor belt in the dining hall
therea a video of her dad walking in while i screamed "lets have a fashion show!" and fell off the table
You have to understand, he didn't so much come out of the closet as he backflipped out of it with an accompanying marching band.
Idk I somehow continue to get laid by pulling my dick out and reciting the 3 world country orphan kid commercials
The fun I thought I would be having now when I was six is vastly different from what I am currently doing. Hurraaay sex and vicodin.
You know the cave of wonders in Aladdin? That's how I feel about his apartment. Except with blow and other treasures.
Abort mission; I repeat: Abort mission.I found an attractive one.
I sent him a cookie cake that said "Congratulations you're not a father"
I just had sex a few hours ago now i'm eating frozen yogurt making sex plans for tonight while catching Pokémon. What a time to be alive.
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