He has that thing where they hang SUPER low
Ewww!! Elephantitis
One girl and one boy is just not enough.
Tell her she's as useless as a condom.
The guy in front of me in Sociology is definitely working on my farm in farmville. Never met him before. Do I thank him?
She gave 2 thumbs up when Nirvana came on the radio while blowing me in the bathroom
Were not alcoholics, were just impatient for fridays
It's an "im going to have to shit with the lights off" type of morning
We convinced the Dj to let us play musical chairs...... I won by the way.
I LOVE DRINKING BOOZE OUT OF A FUCKING LAMP
I hope it's the birth control, otherwise I'm dying
Might call you tomorrow on a drunken hate filled rant, or just a normal hate filled rant, either way be ready.
She asked what the dent on the hood of my car was from..i think she knows we had sex up there
We're sort of like brothers. Except with more sexual tension. And we don't look alike. Or are related.
So we're not much like brothers really.
How... how did you get Adam Lambert's shoes? Does he know you have them? DID YOU STEAL ADAM LAMBERT'S SHOES?! Oh my God I am so turned on right now.
Side piece definitely knows about my GF. Said it was sexy when I go commando, then left me pantsless in the club bathroom
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