We're like a lot better than the average bears
party was madd awkward.. it was like every person who i sat next to in high school and never said hi to was there
I bought the tickets, he brought the weed. thanks to you, we had to roll a joint out of my bible paper.
she would only give me a road handjob because she didnt want to unbuckle
safety first
I think we need to stop being best friends, its not good for our vaginas.
he needs a life. he was like frothing at the mouth to cockblock you
Things got outta hand once she told me to water-board her with Patron.
you don't know what its like to have your bartender tell you that you owe him beer money infront of your mother at 3pm on a tuesday
You can drink as much as you want but it's not gunna make her forehead any smaller
I was hoping it might at least fix her teeth
I'm eating a piece of cake like an apple. At least my thought process is healthy.
I don't know what's worse the the fact he has worn a protective cup for last 3 years in fear of being kicked in the balls. Or the fact that the one day he decides to throw caution to the wind and doesn't wear it and actually gets kicked in the balls.
Who in tha hell do u hang out with?
I finished masturbating now I'm eating french toast crunch. What is life, and what are friends.
He was simultaneously rubbing my shoulders and fucking me. I'm keeping him.
You'll never fully grasp an awkward walk of shame until you run into his mom while you're trying to sneak out. Then to make matters worse you have to ask her to mover car because it's blocking you in.
and I lost my effing shirt.
Do it!! We better have a duck by the time I get home.
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