its good for cellulite if you don't wear underwear. its true
i have your red jacket for some reason. and a good deal of shame and embarasment. note to self, wear underwear when you wear a dress. also, i was electrocuted last night. dont ask how.
4 words: hood of his car
It's always exciting to touch a new boob.
He had one of those small greek statue penises
I'm worried I'm going to miss my flight so I set a series of alarms on my phone to act as checkpoints to make sure I'll be there. 2am-stop drinking; 4am-stop fucking stephanie, get some sleep; 5am-wake up, fuck stephanie once more; 6am-get to the airport
I don't know what happen last night but the fact that it's 9 am and I need to put my dick in something means it didn't go as planned.
My dream had 1 penis and 2 pizzas in it. Priorities?
Not sure how I feel about St Psts and March Madness being on the same weekend. I feel like I've been screwed out of a drunk holiday.
my life is about to be the like the hunger games except with penises. and im going to win.
just had sex in my dorm hall public bathroom while wearing my favorite cat sweater. tonight was a win
Woke up with a squirrel in my bed, how was your night?
Just found a rebirth in peppermint schnapps. May be able to stay up all night and finish this paper after all. MERRY CHRISTMAS
I'm classy like audry Hepburn. Chugging wine out of the bottle on the way to the club. Shed do that. I know she would.
So I fell alseep while I was motorboating that girl last night infront of the entire party.
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