Rescue me. My white trash great uncle just pulled out his belly at the restaurant to show us how big this woman's tit was
Grow some girl-balls and come out already
I'm more concerned as to why he has a playlist entitled Dem Club Beats.
I drunkenly sent a picture of my scrotum to the entire baseball team last night
i'm going to look back at this as the time of my life when i casually dated that autistic guy
The fire department told the police that I was inside the burning building trying to pee in the rest of the electrical Outlets. Booyaka.
There is is 40 year old penis staring me in the face right now if there was ever a time to be a good friend its right now.
things I never thought I would say vol. 24 "Bagpipes just remind me that my relationship is over"
I totally almost forgot you fucked that guy. St. Patty's bar crawls always have a drawback.
Anyway. I unfriended all of these people like a grown up and I am never talking to them again
I've replaced you with thin mints and masturbation
I saw the attitude and didn't even try. Line of the night from one guy who talked with them for a while said, "I don't meet you standards. I have a job and would treat you well." She was blank faced.
I may quit my job to go be a costumed Jedi at Disneyland.
conclusion from last night: i should wear boob glitter more often
The convent might be a nice break from real life
She's not answering my calls
Well it sounds like you really fucked up
WHO HOLDS A GRUDGE OVER MEMES
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