I just googled "semen solvent" and got nothing. there has to be something that will wash this shit off!
I see a marketing opportunity
it's a well known fact that sluts are attracted to bright colors
american apparel?
try lime green
drunk pissing on my closed toilet lid is actually quite a sobering experience
Omg I'm so stupid. All the peoples fb status that said "spain" I thought they were all going to spain.......
They ran out of vodka so we started doing Body Doritos.
I mean, once you get beat with a dildo you can't look at someone the same
I just heard "I just let you finger me on Megabus, I clearly don't have standards".
Oh my god, I am the best RA ever. I'm teaching my freshman girls how to deep throat on bananas as a group bonding activity. I'm making the religious ones eat them for potassium.
Yeah... I still gave her a hug because I felt really bad though. I mentioned that my boyfriends grandma just died too, just to reinforce that I'm straight afterwards.
i have officially banned the recreational use of bayonets.
Getting drunk and falling down, isnt the best way to describe your hobbies, to your new co-workers.
Is there like a dick file on me? Guys can't hold two dicks anymore?! Who are you people????
Sorry for peeing on you and your bed last night.
please come back. it's turned into strip rock paper scissors
It's like a donut of clothes around a pair of heels. Like they were transported to another dimension naked.
Randomize
