wrong asian. never thought that would happen.
You were sad because he was "taking it out on the plant"
The girl who overdosed in the bathroom at work is back....help?
I'm studying for my midterm by watching porn with Spanish subtitles. Surprisingly the words are still really distracting..
For future reference, Twizzlers CAN leave welts.
There is a large scratch and bruise about the size of a pizza bagel next to my vagina. Please text back if you know what happened.
Also I'm very proud of th fact that I walked my dog before bed. Drunk dog walking should be an Olympic sport; it takes SKILLS.
I'll get him an axe as a present. So he can break out of his closet. That axe being my penis.
After sex he cried I didn't know what to do so I patted him on the back and went to the kitchen to make waffles
My roommate just caught me cleaning a tostitos queso jar with my hand and eating it. He didn't judge. Bonding moment.
Both guys that I'm dating were waiting for me in the parking lot after work. Literally the most awkward situation I have ever been in
You danced?!
I just jiggle to the beat like a sexy lava lamp
I think I met my butt stuff soulmate
No just a list of 20 of my favorite things
Where are penises on the list
Where am I on the list
Under penises
If I had a dollar for every functioning brain cell you had I would owe someone a lot of money
Randomize
