and then you made a playlist that was just "party in the usa" on repeat...
Every time my boyfriend threatens to commit suicide I change my relationship status as "widowed".
She showed me her prom dress from 2001, which still had her date's cum stain on it.
Oh, so that's why you call her jizzarella....
This is all my moms fault. She shouldn't have encouraged my weird fascinations as a child
he actually managed to pick a girl up by telling her that her skirt was ugly and she didnt do a good job with her makeup. thats some seriously low selfesteem
Nothing says Welcome to America than having the international house watch a sorority girl puke over the edge of the porch at 8am.
btw theres a pine tree in the downstairs shower. the guys thought it would be a great free air freshener.
She makes me want to eat babies and throw kittens in pots of boiling water.
sleeping in bed with your booty calls married sister...you're the stuff heroes are made of.
Drunk me wrote a bucket list last night. #4 is "hate fuck a childhood enemy". Can we make this happen?
I had him autograph the condom wrapper.
So this tall girl jumped in our cab and I was like hey I have pics of u on my phone. It wasn't creepy at all
but we were going camping. it only made sense to bring the 6 ft bong
No it's a real cult, with original ideas and shit like that
You should of known that i was high if i refer to myself as melting into anything
Randomize
