Come on the kid is gayer than me
Like the straightest thing he could do right now is take it up the butt
we'll hang out once this whole, "your friends are robbers and drug addicts" thing blows over with my parents.
All I remember from last night is puking up a box of cheeze-its and the building catching on fire.
my girls lil sis wanted to play hide & seek. she told her 2 go hide. we went to the room and had sex. she was hiding under the bed.
i have received so many congratulations texts this morning. sleeping with him really was a good decision.
tequila makes me forget i have legs
Should I feel bad that I fucked her and made her ride my little brothers razor scooter home?
In the middle of fucking me, she said "Hold on, I need my Hulk hands."
you started keeping track of only every even numbered drink you had
I love you, but you should know I'll always ditch you for weed.
Still trying to wash and scratch the glitter off of my dick. That stripper should be banned.
Just got a blowjob on the pier where my great-grandfather entered America.
I dont know how to respond to your rave picture. I mean yeah, he's hot, but it just seems wrong to be like "Please tell me you fucked that guy with the pacifier!"
And as cleavage season comes to a close, so blooms a new season of yoga pants. And the people rejoiced.
My phone just said I texted someone at 430a and said let's fight. Then I texted them an hour later and said thanks.
Randomize
