After I just paid $211 for my hair to be dyed and cut this guy at the bar said "I know you died your hair with koolaid, but I'd still fuck the shit out of you"
It's like a choose-your-own-adventure. But the adventure is already chosen for you. And it sucks.
It's officially time to start saving up weed money for the NCAA tournament
you're in nursing school, now tell me what to do about a burned clit.
what date should I let him know how fucked up I am?
the tile , carpet , walls , cabinets , even the ceiling ... there is Jello everywhere
it was your idea to have indoor Jello wrestling man
how bad is she
captain morgan with tits
The worst thing about it is now I have to find someone else to fuck in the library.
I had a dream last night where I used the marginal product rule to figure out how much more hangover I got per sip of four loko, econ is taking over my life...
I may puke in class so I'm excited to see how that goes
Netflix keeps asking me if I'm still watching just because I've been sitting here all afternoon...why do I feel like my tv is judging my life choices?
He's taking me to Tao. This is going to be so weird. How do you go on a first date with a guy that has seen you naked more times than clothed?
I raged so hard that I was so hungover today I threw up out of a car window going 50mph cause my parents didn't pull over quick enough ...sorry to the people behind us
Is it completely inappropriate to base my morning after pill purchase on if they sell coffee or not?
you woke me up at 1am last night high on cough syrup to tell me jay z was an idiot for cheating on beyonce
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