Never fear I pulled out... she had "lies about taking birth control" written all over her
IM INA KID IN KING ATURHTS CUNT!
A Kid In King Arthur's Court? Like the movie?
CUNT. CUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUNT
Are we still dressing up as garden gnomes for halloween?
No. I would like to get laid again before I graduate.
Were not really friends so much as I suck his dick a lot
All I remember was yelling at him, "Its becasue of people like you that it took us so long to get to the moon!"
Who was that couple sleeping in your bed with us last night?
I just compared drinking to love. How do these people not know I'm an alcoholic?
Dude.. full face helmets and hangovers do not mix... I am never going to get rid of the smell of puke.
She said my new name was "ranch" because I "looked delicious"
Saved a life and got us a free vacuum cleaner (and learned vacuum is not spelled "vacumn"). Get on my level.
Also I just learned you, Samantha, and I three-way made out at my Halloween party. News to me.
Okay hun. Well my neighbors haven't called the cops yet so I think we're good. No more burning in the yard.
Over 50% of the drunkest nights I have ever had began with me saying "I'll just drink my dinner" to you.
You threw up in a empty pizza box at Pizza Hut and opened the door with your face. So that maybe why it's bruised.
My one regret (beside the inevitable shit storm that followed) is that now I can't fuck his cute friend.
Randomize
