Astroglide: It's like Bengay for your ass.
I was pretty stoned. I thought I needed a seatbelt at the restaurant.
The glockenspiel player has some booze though so hopefully the ride won't be that bad
Was just explained ingredients in a four loko. Puzzles of the universe starting to piece together.
Either I'm spending too much time drinking or my perfume is starting to smell like a pineapple vodka.
if i can get a chik with a dibaetes pump naked a sling certainly isnt going to get in my way
Dude, the chicks a procotolgy intern. Don't cheat on her. She knows where it hurts the most.
Se wrote an essay in class about proper and fashionable winter wear for dogs. Of course I regret fucking her.
I got the beer and the first aid kit. You get the tequila and burn cream. We should be set for the camping trip.
She was wearing a grass skirt and a watermelon bra. WATERMELONS.
I woke up with glitter and eggshells in my bed wtf
Did I penguin dive down a hill last night?
Its official, kitchen-couch is my favorite.
You passed out again didn't you?
its likely that this occurred.
How do you say "put it in me" in Spanish... I'm dealing with language barriers here.
First night in my new place, I had to get drunk to get used to the idea of shitting in a new toilet
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