Last night I fell down in the street (I think in someone's vomit), cut my knee up, lost my moms necklace and my license, and had to walk back to the hotel.
she definitely has that "I'll bang you, but then I'll tell your girlfriend" look to her.
I couldnt find her vag and just started laughing uncontrollably. She was not pleased. Neither was i.
he said i look beautiful when i cum. i think i'm in love.
the girl next to me in class is drinking a margarita out of a slurpee cup. i know your going to ask how i know its a margarita and the answer is i can smell the tequila. i never want to leave this place
The guy in 209 is masturbating with the door cracked again
He said he got a lot of action last night. I asked how much? And he said he got to see down her shirt. Freshmen never cease to amaze me.
drunken yoga. on the beach. senior week. you have been chosen <3
and the award for most disgusting thing ever done on my couch now officially goes to you! Congratulations, you won the couch...I can't even look at it anymore.
You said, "can you make out with him for a little bit, I need a break."
We welcome drunken adversity.
With open legs.
Did my good deed for the day.. Helped an old guy hide his beer on the NJ transit while the ticket lady came by
So I walk in and he's teaching someone in London via Skype how to roll a blunt. I have new found respect for him.
They have beer where we have blood.
The only good thing about the sex was that he finally cracked the spot on my back that's been hurting.
Randomize
