What do you do when the person in the stall next to you says they're jealous?
First shot of my 21st. 11 a.m. in econ class. Success.
she's laying in my bed with an ice pack on her vagina. how do you think it went?
You skyped me last night to show me the girl passed out on your bed.
No need to call an exterminator, the ants overdosed on the leftover lines on the counter.
It's like a party bus, but there's a glass, airtight wall separating the driver from the passengers, and once everyone's on, they pump vaporized THC into the cabin.
The chick who threw the party was all pissed cause she thought I made out with her boyfriend. Admittedly, I did, but she was throwing up and crying at the time so she really can't be that mad.
idk but i can hear her singing "Call Me Maybe" really slowly and emotionally in the shower right now
So this 40 year old woman was trying to bring me into the bathroom to blow me and the bartender called the cops on her because she was showing her tits. Only in asbury.
There was a pumpkin carving contest and we carved a very realistic dick about to penetrate a vagina. Our Christian Youth hosts were not happy.
Guys, Black Friday does not exist in the world of dealing. Stop texting me asking what my deals are.
you know it's a good party when the fucking floor caves in. THE FUCKING FLOOR.
Do you remember doing synchronized hip thrusts to Michael Jackson? Probably one of my favorite parts of the night
Your father is wrapped in a table cloth singing, "America Fuck Yeah!" You are missing the time of your life.
Dude. Woke up this morning wearing that chick's panties. 8/10, would recommend. I love tequila.
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