Is it a bad sign when i blow my nose && can smell vodka?
We spent three hours cleaning our room this morning. It was spotless and smelling good. I come home from work tonight and she has already smoked weed in it and "accidently" spilled vodka on the floor.
Remind me tomorrow to take that ball-gag out of my purse.
Well I pulled a muscle in my leg dancing in the tanning booth drunk at 1 pm soooo there's that
How did it go last night?
Woke up head half shaved and a burrito? So good and bad?
Chris threw beer can at guy. Guy ended up being a fighter. Chris got his eye socket broke. Fighter got hand re-broke. Chris is passed out. Fighter is in kellys bed. everybody won last night. I think.
ugh... thank God for ATM withdrawal limits. I was drunk enough to give that weird shaped stripper all of my money while making her cry in the back room.
I don't know if this whole sobriety thing is going to work out... It's only been 3 days and I want to chug vodka
That sad moment when you flush your Molly down the toilet at the airport & watch your vacation slowly end..
I won't be able to get a boner for a month
Challenge accepted.
got into a verbal altercation with Luke Harangoty last night over a table. Called him a cross-eyed fuck and got the table.
YES please come visit. Lets go get belligerent. I won't even pepperspray you
This girl I interned with got engaged today and I'm just like over here taking plan B with my tacos and PBR.
The sex was totally worth how awkward its gonna be for the next few weeks
Remember how I was complaining about how no guy has ever gotten me off?
Randomize
