yeh she's definitely getting a ham and plan b omelette in the morning
I started drinking at 10.30am. Ive got a solid buzz, ive decided holidays are to be treated like gamedays
two words: fractured penis. two more: emergency room.
oh i have no idea about his personality. i imagine it's the same as it was- except now combined with a receding hairline and a beer gut
Wouldn't be the first time..I think there's a subliminal message constantly playing in my mind that says 'blackout', 'throwing up is fun' 'too sober'
I'd just like to give a shout out to jesus and plan b for making this day possible.
Yeah he's definitely gonna feel that one when he wakes up. I beat the shit out of him with that broom handle.
how did we start talking about space blow jobs?
He broke hus nose arm jousting with the traffic cones... We need to make head shots illegal or get helmets or something
But see that's the thing. I know i'm better looking than you, I just want you to be continually in a state of shock and awe that you could ever get a girlfriend this hot. You know?
you were angry and didn't have anything else to throw so you threw a breakfast burrito...?
But I'm currently thinking of all my bad decision making last night and giving myself a time out.
She said "I feel like I haven't reached my full potential" and I couldn't figure if she meant in life or with the weed..
You can accomplish quite a bit with a can do attitude and a well placed ice cube.
We're pretty sure we got naked at Pride, so running the two blocks to your place in my underwear is a step up the dignity ladder really.
Randomize
