I am in shape. i keep telling you that.
Round is not "in shape," it's "a shape."
how does a 20 year old who hasnt gone through puberty yet score the game winning goal? fuck sidney crosby and his small nuts.
he made me scream out "#24" while we fucked...no more football players
there is no excuse for drinking mascato in your room alone while listening to one-hit wonders from the 90s
Cops just came and got two guys out of my class. I can't do college. Seriously cannot rage at this school anymore.
I ordered a million chicken go wraps and they gave me five. Even when im drunk I can count to a million and know its not five. They fucked me.
Remember that mom/daughter stripper team? Well i just met the ex husband/father in AA. WOW!!!! WOW....
You asked the bartender if she was trying to get you drunk. She cut you off after that.
He invites me over too FucK and i wind up eating 6 jimboys tacos with his roommates. While he waited in his room. Maybe next time
IDK I WAS CAUGHT UP IN THE TEQUILA SHOTS AND FRIENDSHIP
I've lost every trace of self esteem. Even sneaking a BJ in the coffee room has lost it's luster.
How good was the sex? She sent me a fruit basket the next day.
Banged a girl last night wearing nothing but my Team USA Olympic jersey. I think it's safe to say that nut was for America.
Theres a woman here with grey hair that im pretty sure i would have sex with
You know you're old when you’re masturbating and you pull your hip
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