Dual....:-)
I'm pretty sure my roommate has taken plan B more times than i've had sex. Not sure how that makes me feel.
Don't worry about later. I already pre-ordered a pizza for a 1:45 delivery and told them to ignore any calls from your number.
You're getting good at this, you know that?
We were drinking cognac with TAB. I felt like trailer park royalty.
Listen, i'm watching playoff hockey and eating waffles. i just don't have time for your drama today.
A good ear swabbing is more orgasmic than sex with him
The cop refused to sing with us, even though he was as happy as we were that the tow truck finally showed up.
We hooked up with his aunt passed out next to us. It was just like old times.
Did I really just find a cheez- it box full of condoms in your room?
My drug dealer just asked me to go see Les Mis on Christmas. Should I be worried this is some type of musical set-up?
I told a 250 pound football player I would catch him if he jumped into my arms. And that is how I broke my wrist
Yeah we invited her back for chicken nugget sandwiches
we need to make pact to not cut each other's hair on coke and whiskey nights.
While I agree, I dont think thats realistically possible
I have dined. Now I want to get fucked.
Last night I actually told him I came with a washer and dryer
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