I attract so much trash. The guy that is engaged and kissed me is here so is his fiancé. I feel likeshw knows and will cut me in the bathroom might happen. If I'm not at the pool tomorrow she has blonde hair and is really flat.
never have i ever had a craving for dick this badly
Question: does he have any sense of self image? He looks slightly like he crawled out of the Euphrates after living as a fish for 20 years
Jake just asked if thanksgiving was an american thing...I left the table
I took chris brown's side in the conversation ... cut to me not getting laid tonight
My picture of a beer can in a McDonalds cup full of ice got more likes than my relationship with her. Is beer THAT much better than monogamy?
Apparently I was the fucked up drunk guy greeting people at the hotel in the lobby last night.
Theme for your birthday? Beer olympics in S&M costumes? Sounds like a nice little saturday
Yeah. I don't think I have anything left in me tho. I think I was throwing up tangible memories at one point.
Only my second night back in town and I already have drunk middle aged women doing the robot around me in a circle.
You can get gift cards to the liquor store! This changes everything.
i think i just lost a toe
He told me he loved me...but added "you crazy bitch" at the end. Does it still count???
Matt is trying to convince me that we have a deal where if I show him my tits he won't do cocaine. Apparently we shook hands on it?
And by "sexually intimate," you mean fuck buddies?
Randomize