But i just feel like he will pull it out and ill panic. I mean its fairly basic. Up and down. But i feel like ill just freak out.
the last girl i hooked up with and the last guy i hooked up with are hooking up right now. this is where bisexuality becomes a problem.
Sometimes I wonder why.. Then I realize I can't fool myself with that question bc we all know it's bc of his enormous dick
new girl just came onto the hall stumbling drunk with no shoes on and the guy who brought her doesn't have them either
proof that my night is going well: I can still open doors
Just got a groupon for a segway rental: fireworks segway battle at my house. What say you?
well it got awkwardly quiet so i looked up, slapped his stomach, said "youre the best!" while pointing at him, and went right back to sucking his dick.
Megan brought her friend up last night, greeted her by drunkedly taking a piss all over her duffle bag of clothing
Are you really surprised she can't remember? That's like 50 people. I couldn't rattle off all 50 state capitols off the top of my head, you're bound to forget a few here and there
Would it be crossing a line if I told him that I now know his girlfriend has a huge mole on her left ass cheek?
I'm very aware of my heart moving the blood in my body.
Annoying and petty is the name of the game and I'm the MVP.
it was like reliving my childhood drunk at a bar.
You proposed a left ass cheek firmness contest and got a surprising number of contestants. Then you ruined it by groping someone who wasn't playing and awarding them first place.
That portable toilet under the bed? Turns out it was a tuba. Explains alot.
Randomize
