Get your damn GED now that you are harvesting a child in her belly
What is a GED?
My hand is eating my burrito and not saving any for my mouth. TRIPPPPPPPPPPPPPPINN!
So many tools at one table, you'd enjoy my italian family
I just shot gunned a beer for your birthday alone because you're too hungover at midnight to get out of bed. I'm not sure which of us is the bigger loser
when I picked him up he smelled like cheeseburgers, had a bite mark around his left nipple and we think someone stabbed him in the forehead with a pencil... it was like the Hangover meets Texas Chainsaw Massacre
if we break up, blackout me is coming back, making out with everything in sight
He spent most of his night trying to convince people that he had changed and was no longer a sleazebag...he had his nut hanging out of his pants about an hour later.
Well I disagree, 3 different men in my bed over my birthday was the perfect way to say goodbye to my childhood innocence
I am VERY upset that you called my fiesta a waste of time.
if I just puked into my own hand, but then cleaned it up quickly, quietly, and calmly, am I still a trainwreck?
All I need right now is some mouthwash, dignity, and security camera footage...
Almost screamed "GO FISH MOTHER FUCKER" at the girl I nanny today. Drunken card games shouldn't bleed into my sober life.
I plan on showing these boobs to so many people that by the end of it ill just have a shirt of beads.
I just pictured my inhibition personified as little pink piggies with wings flying off into the great wide nowhere hahaha
I used to think not drinking while I was pregnant was not gonna be a problem, but I now I'm like shit that's a long time
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