***** fucked a guy with one hand last night
We were hooking up, both of us naked. She starts putting her clothes back on and says, "I have to go to the bathroom." I reply, "No you don't, you're leaving." Without hesitation she looks at me and says, "Yeah."
when your friendship is based on dead babies and vodka there is a delicate balance. lesson learned. for what its worth, you are still my number one.
i just threw up in the porta potty. i am in no condition to be guarding anyone's life rite now.
Woke up un the hot tuv. Climbed out fo the hot tub and fell asleeo. Woke ip again in the hot tub.
she wanted to watch hairspray while we fucked. she's obviously your kinda girl, dude.
Do you think i can prewrite an apology on friday and leave it vague enough to just finish on sunday?
There were slices of bread pasted to the wall with peanut butter this morning. I don't want to know
Packing a mid day bowl in the Sonic parking lot. Have I gone too stoner?
Not a or good or bad impression, just that you were all basically naked playing beer bong in sombreros and ties. Casual.
Its was awkward last year cuz in the middle of it her mom bust In the room with noise makers and champagne
Something tells me your "Titties for Tracy Morgan" fundraiser won't pan out.
I want you more than I want a burrito.
I'm not as filling.
I ate her out and told her she tasted like pumpkin pie. She screamed that she hated pumpkins and started to cry
Only good thing about the 50 Shades is that it is now completely OK to call a credit card co to dispute the charge for nipple clamps that didnt arrive.
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