Apparently I think casual Friday means I can show up unshaven in yesterday's clothes and reeking of booze.
Some guy just watched me feed 30 dimes and 3 quarters for bread and cheese at the self checkout at walmart. I no longer comprehend shame...
I had fun this weekend too. According to Web MD, my symptoms say I had a miscarriage.
Hey do you have anything at your house 30 ft. tall to throw eggs off of?
We are getting high tomorrow and being statues at the cafeteria. Come find us.
We found you naked curled up in a ball in the closet, using a gorilla suit as a blanket
I got back at him the only way I knew how, by hooking up with the guy he hates from their rival fraternity.
Did she owns a vibrator that will set off seismic activity.
Question. There's no better feeling than clean shaven balls. Do girls get that too?
I'm developing all these feelings it's disgusting.
Let's celebrate our freedom by getting high and doing stupid shit.
Double check your contract and see if it says anything about sleeping with your manager
I swear I was in Legend of Zelda Twilight Princess and American Ninja Warrior at the same time. I'm never getting high while rock climbing again.
This is why you have to watch more Zombie movies- to prepare for End Times...
Idk, I know when I drink vodka my bi side comes out and I just want to make out with a girl
Randomize
