is it bad that i regret hanging out with a girl tonight because that means i have less time to sit on youtube watching xmen cartoons?
I know...I feel like disliking her as a person on facebook
she was dressed as a doctor claiming that after she was done i would have a "permaboner"
Mattress luging...It's a long story.
You told me that you only walk into walls because it makes the room stop spinning.
i love all of you. Physical. Emotional. Mental. All of it. When we speak i feel like a feather or a dragon depending on the conversation ...
Sometimes I think I have so much sex with you to be sure you're actually straight.
MANGO MOTHERFUCKING GODDAMN MARGARITA DELICIOUSNESS
I would lick a homeless mans crack teeth for a cup of coffee right now.
Wors thing about having a cop dad: random drug testing
EVERYTHING IS DISNEY. Even my sexting can lead to Disney.
There is a check pinned to the wall at Connor's. It's a check I wrote for $1,000,000... To you. Clearly you made out well on St. Patrick's day. Thanks for being too shitfaced to remember to grab that.
According to timehop today marks the 3rd anniversary of my 1st blackout
woke up with 8 used magnum condoms bound together by floss around my neck, thats about all im gonna tell you.
No one can touch me, I'm made of fruit.
Randomize