I have a masturbator in my 5th grade class. the teacher told me ever since they caught him humping the desk in 2nd grade, they haven't been able to control him. he's even on medication but he will just do it in class
Peed in a church parking lot last night. As if Jesus didnt hate me enough already.
The port-a-pottys are knocked over so I have nowhere to sleep.
Should I tell him the real reason I was in the hospital, or should I just keep him thinking the side effect he thought was in for was allergy related, not I just miscarried the child I didn't know we were having?
I should also mention that having been a sheltered child, I am conditioned to have serious kinks and find upper bodies of either sex attractive. And legs.
You know you need to take better care of yourself when shaving reminds you of sheep shearing...
I walked in her room to find her rubbing lotion on her face high as fuck.
You were so drunk last night you left the bar to go buy a razor so you could go home with him
Happy you have kids and I don't day!
I guess I'll just chalk it up as a learning experience and a lot of great sex.
He came over apologized for his lack of sexual skills. Cleaned my kitchen cooked me dinner. And gave me another one minute stand. I think im okay with this
Still fucking the ballerina?
She can put her legs behind her head.
Enough said
does 2pm fall under the wake n bake category?
There’s a stripper dressed like a slutty pilgrim. Is that a thing?
Want to help me interview candidates to replace my Cub/Boy Toy when he leaves for grad school next month?
Randomize