Far right against the wall..hiding come find me. dont tell oyhers hahaha
she was so not down for the gang bang
You were face down, at your computer, surrounded by beer bottles listening a bagpipes version of amazing grace.
I'll call it a relationship when I stop masturbating after he goes to sleep
I think that's the first time I've heard someone say "this is the safest way of doing things" while holding half a gallon of jagermeister
Almost told my boss I was an expert aat swallowing when he questioned my ability to take excedrin,xanax, and a vitamin all at once. It was a medicinal gang bang lubricated by arizona tea.
Jsyk, in serious talks of trading blowjobs for soup in bed. I'm sober
I know you're my sister, but I'm pretty sure I'm going to have sex with one of your exes this weekend. He's probably not gay, but I'll let you know.
What did you two do last night and why did Sam send me a picture of your dick?
Dude my doctor just legit got down on her knees and loudly begged me to do my pap smear
Cause I know you wanna ride the D like a Vespa in ROMAN HOLIDAY
At first it will make you think "how is this physically possible?" and then it will ruin an entire food group for you.
I learned a valuable lesson about combining day drinking with malt liquor: you may think you have super powers, but that's just the Steel Reserve talking.
just answer this one ? for me. why is there human shit in my shower right now?
I texted him: “Come over for the Super Bowl. I promise lots of scoring.”
My divorce is turning into a porn script
Randomize
