I took off my bra and money fell out...how crazy was I tonight?
Everything was going good until she wanted to update her status...You forgot to close pterodactyl porn from this morning. Clothes went back on.
Don't make me choose between a good grade and anal
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE GAY FRIEND?!?!
Someone woke me up and gave me a sprite and some pills. I put them in my belly button. Trust no one.
proof that my night is going well: I can still open doors
hot boxing the bathroom at chili's. where the fuck are you, it's too big of a box for just one person.
So did you grab that log full of poison ivy for the fire and then apparently take a piss on Saturday night too or was that just me?
will we ever learn or are we destined for a life of poison ivy covered balls?
Did you drink ALL that 151??
No. We drank all the jaeger... Then used the 151 to start the fire. We're also out of paper towels... And your hairspray is flammable.
i turned around and there he was, right in my face. i was mid deep throat of a hot dog that i was eating with my hands and no bun. you win FSU, you win.
HE JUST ALLUDED TO FUCKING MY FRESH LOAF OF BREAD
If so I'm coming over there. There's no way I'm having "hello, how are you" conversations with my neighbors on acid
ugh i want to get waxed but I’m afraid. my vagina has had enough trauma this week, i don’t know if I can put her thru any more.
Whenever someone said no you would yell "Die Motherfucker." Kind of like some twisted drinking game.
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