A homeless man in dtwn SF was blasting lil wayne and singing at the top of his lungs. I kinda wanted to give him my life savings
At Wal-Mart last night I watched two guys scramble for $4.34 to pay for a pack of ping pong balls and red solo cups. They had to put the .34 on a credit card. Winter break begins!
I'm setting a 12:15 alarm for a taco bell run. Be awake or never wake up again.
if you are still a virgin by winter break we are throwing an aztec themed sacrifice the virgin party
She gave such good road head it was turned into side-of-the-road head for everyone's safety
You left for an hour, then walked up to us at the bar, pulled 80 dollars out of your bra and yelled " drinks are on him".
I'm not a horrible person, I just see what everyone chooses to politely ignore.. And occasionally say it aloud whilst deeply intoxicated.
Awkwardly walking by your fuck buddy and waving a casual hi in his direction like nothing has happened is probably the best thing in my life
I feel as bad as you right now. I'm about to use one girls car to go see another one
Fuck ya. But normally I drove one girls car picking up a different girl while texting another girl lol
I just traded 5 cigarettes for a sandwich on they greyhound.You owe me 5 cigarettes. I told you I would get hungry.
i found waldo and immediately set him to work eating me out. please have more out of season costume parties.
What do you mean? Just eat his food and have sex with him. Unless you want a relationship, then just eat his food.
Sorry for prompting a philosophical penis discussion at 10:45 on a Friday night.
i wish i could say that was the first 40 year old woman from the circus I nailed
Let’s try it, I’ve never had a bad time with sex, tacos and beer.
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