I play with my boobs when I'm bored. I playwith my nipples whe I'm drunk
ugh. people who use coupons make me wanna punch a baby.
Maybe you should go over there and lead him on and reach down his pants like he's about to get some and yank his balls.
That's the best idea I've heard all day.
Did I hear correctly when it sounded like he said "just don't let me throw up into your vaj?"
I took my pants off in the cab and tried to bite his ear. Not going oout for awhile
So I've gone into the break room to heat up a styrofoam cup 8 times over the course of 4 hours.. that desperate to see him. Now I have a broken heart AND cancer.
I called him daddy. To his face. Somewhat sober. What more could I do?
You're a disgrace to the female race and the love triangle and halloween.
Yup. We're now banned from TWO of our nation's finest zoos.
You know I found it really difficult to find a full lenght picture for the egg donor site where I wasn't holding any alcohol...
I went to pick my brother up downtown and I stopped at a red light a homeless old man comes up knocks on the window shows me his penis and then screams money
Multiple bruises and a hell of a headache later, I have still to find out where the fuck I picked up the bottom half of a mannequin.
You used your chihuahua as a pillow screaming "HE'S A PILLOW AND A PET" and proceeded to puke in the dog bed
Btw, remind me to tell you about how I had to cancel my crazy wild sex plans with Will b/c my roommate came back from his trip after a day b/c Canada wouldn't let him in. Fucking cockblock.
Actually that's the whole story. You don't have to remind me.
I want to be her friend more than I want to fuck her boyfriend.
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