The worlds most fuckable chipmunk
The guy I was getting with last night took off his purity ring mid-sex and threw it across the room.
He tried to blame not having a condom on the economy.
Its pretty simple actually, if she texts me either Grr or Rawr it means she is horny and wants to bone. its a perfect system
currently pooping in a public restroom while drinking free beer. there has never been a finer line between awesome and depressing.
I'm 25 and she is 19. She wants to practice blowjobs on me because of my stamina. Not only does the GI bill pay for me to go to school I am teaching a freshman blowjob course. I love Texas.
It was either the harsh truths I was divulging or the liquor..... But either way, I made mom puke
I have a very important question for you: what are some good rules to have if we want to turn the nfl draft into a drinking game?
You know its been a rough night when for a large portion of the evening you have accepted your death
Today wasn't Sunday Funday, it was more like Sunday god is taking a shit on my life day
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
Why does your life consist of lesbians, black guys and cats?
sex on a trampoline, in the rain, on ecstasy, just thought you should know.
So, I almost went hone with a French guy and a drag queen. Together. Then I became sober enough to realize, that's not my style.
I refuse to take any type of advice let alone love advice from a motherfucker who is missing 3 fingers from a Fucked up masturbating accident.
Randomize