sometimes i wish i was a boob, they get to chill in soft and cuddly little cup things.
Well i tried snorting sugar. so either that made me puke or the fact that i drank water from a fish tank
We were squawking at each other for over an hour like chickens. Literally. Never touching the stuff again and never again showing my face at that Denny's.
She was surprised when she saw all our living room furniture was made from old kegs. It's like she's never met us before...
I wish you could be here to assess my herpes before he gets here.
I don't like him near enough to give up day drinking AND my prostitute costume
Stop whining I left you with whiskey
YOU LEFT ME WITH WHISKEY ALONE IN A CABIN IN THE MIDDLE OF NOWHERE I AM GOING TO DIE.
Getting a vibrator would be like waving the white flag of surrender in this war against my vagina and its hormone army.
Is it just me or does the sex still keep getting better? I wasn't crying, my eyes just watered from how hard I was cumming.
We were coming but I found wine on my way out the door.
She stopped me mid sex to ask if she could finish my ramen, I've found the one.
All I need is $1,500, a beach ready body, a bigger dick & this will be the best spring break ever.
His dick is a spiritual experience and meditation is very important to me.
boys just don't understand what they're missing out on.
he's missing out on my boobs looking marvelous this evening.
I didn’t eat all day. Got really drunk at a bruins game and puked in a random dunkies cup on the T
If that doesn’t scream I’m from New England, I don’t know what does
Randomize
