You were running around the house covered in syrup, with shredded down pillow feathers on your body screaming "AFLACK!" at everyone
I think I have swimmer's ear. From his tongue.
Why do you apologize after every time we have sex?
Remember when you picked me up from my walk of shame with a bike, I came out wearing a Ninja Turtle costume and you let me ride the pegs to thoroughly display the embarassment
I'm by the dj to the left. Come get me now this girl is talking about baby names and I dnt even no hers
I can't see you
I'm the only one that's wearing a tarzan outfit get your ass over here you douche
ive cried into many a lonely burritos..
If I had that in my pants Omg I would want a shirt made so everyone knew
I'm going home because your Crackraptor step-brother tried getting his nasty meat hawks in my pants last night.
At first I was horrified but then he explained that he shave a "soul patch" on his balls... And I was still horrified, but I went with it.
He's gonna be so upset when he get's a real job and can't do serious drugs.
can I cover your dick in cookie butter?
Don't Richard Nixon her vagina
Sexting and pancakes... It's going to be hard to top that
she wants homewrecking advice
are you gonna teach her your ways?
obvs. i'm like her yoda.
Hey. You got pizza and sex. How much more can you ask for?
Randomize
