Wanna demo a makeout? Check box yes or no. Or maybe. Okay bye.
Drunken candy land NOW. Dont fight the urge... you want to.
Im too awkward for one night stands. I need to hire someone to come clear them out of my bed before I wake up.
I love the moment a guy admits defeat against the front clasping bra.
I guess I tried to spit on a homeless man on the walk home...Out. Of.Hand.
No, he's fine. He only wanted to know why there were traffic pylons in the living room and how the peanut butter got on the ceiling.
My dad is drinking wine out of a measuring cup. This explains so much.
I'm sorry for peeing on your door. But it was your decision to open it.
Trying to take a shit right now to the beat of the fuckin drumcircle outside... It's not goin well
Human Centipede: The Drinking Game. This is non-negotiable. First one to pass out the rest of us get to FEEEEED THEM!
MASS TEXT! MASS TEXT! Your sad horny friend has finally gotten it in and can go back to being normal once again. You're welcome.
Lets just make a point system, like if we have sex add a point, if they leave after take away a point, if they stay all fucking day take away a point
God I need to stop before there's a picture of my dick on my mom's phone.
Mixing Powerade and white wine has been one of my better ideas.
Are you going to regret this?
No I do t think so
Ok then he can enter the holy dorm temple.
Randomize
