Whenever he makes me dinner its always mini things.. cheeseburgers, corndogs.. is he preparing me for something?
my dad just beat the shit out of me cuz i blew my nose on one of my dirty t shirts and he saw it and thought it was cum.
Remeber, hes got nothing better to offer you than drunk words and hairy balls.
I actually had to roll up my long sleeves to masturbate. I hate the winter
Pray the makeout fairy visits me this weekend.
me neither. i remember bell pepper tequila but not why or yelling
Hahaha, I forgot about doing shots out of the bell pepper
It's 9am. I'm four lines ahead of you already. Wake up.
I think I met somebody from your birthday this past weekend. He said I held a push up contest outside the bar and told them I would make out with the winner. He said he won..
I just recorded myself pooping, then uploaded to google drive, then connected to my pc through teamviewer then downloaded it, then played it to the living room while still pooping. God I love the internet.
It's official. I'm gonna fuck hot art class guy. But this won't be like hot Samsung guy. I'm gonna make sure I follow through this time.
i mean hes a break dancing puerto rican, how do you think the sex was?
I know I'm going to throw up tonight it's just a matter of when and where
I don't want to inconvenience you with my dick\n\n
He’s 21. The president of his frat. I’m 28 and have a career!
Do it. It’s a noble position.
I was giving him head and he slipped one of those hats with propellors on top on my head.
Randomize
