careful when you do the walk of shame, they are handing out bibles on campus
I brought up my Bobbly Flay drinking game in the interview. Of course I got the job.
Is there any chance I can see you without pouring vodka on your head?
So what's the verdict on pumpkin smoothies with vodka? I puked.
If the world would stop letting me feel invincible I would probably stop doing this shit.
I think I'm still drunk...I just gave my empty conditioner bottle a break-up speech before I threw it away.
Should we go get some celebratory "I'm not pregnant" tacos?
Night one million where I have madri gra beads around my neck and no justifiable reason for where they came from
Hung out near hay bales in sweaters then she gave me a pumpkin spice pop rocks bj. That was so freakin' seasonal.
You know you're an adult when you start planning your hookup a week in advance
This whole Rob and Chyna drama is giving me trust issues. I'm about to text my ex and be like if you haven't already deleted my nudes, can you?
I just had to explain to my grandma what a reach-around is. Too far..
color coded lube a great way to organize my bootie calls
I woke up under the stretchy sheet like the corners were still stuck under the bed. I had to wiggle the corners off in order to get up. I was trapped. how did that happen
I kinda realized titty fucking is purely for our enjoyment, they dont really get much out of it, except for a guy sitting on them and and a dick bouncing of their chin
Randomize
