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Reindeer Drinking Games will soon commence. Get over here while we're still sober enough to answer the door.
Sober January is a disaster.
In Canada she would be a 10 but here in America she's only a 7
Literally 6000 elephants in my backyard.
Next time we go to the river, we nominate you to flash people for free booze. Your tits are the biggest.
IDK who she called, but some guy came into the party, flying drop kicked Joe said never again. She has to invite him around again.
There's a middle eastern man wearing a cow costume with tequila coming out of his udders, but I'm not sober enough to feel uncomfortable with it.
You brought us all personal gifts you had stolen from the party and bellowed "hoes hoes hoes, clepto Santa loves you"
Your roommate from freshman year just had a baby. I think you're winning. Hooray for fifth year seniors!
Two dicks, one me.
Yoga's definitely paying off.
Yes I did. Thanks. I was actually an hour and half early. I'm better at public transport than I thought. Guy behind me on the bus is also crying. We compared cry-snot. It was nice in a weird sad way.
the amount of times i have been intoxicated, barefoot, and in a robe at 3 am at the quick check by your house is impressive, especially since i live an hour away
My autocorrect won't finish pterodactyl for me and I'm feeling personally attacked.
Yes. I had to slow down my handjob so he would last...-and I give shitty handjobs to begin with
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