all I remember was being half naked drinking water on my hands and knees from her dogs water bowl.
I remember spending $50 at Ozzie's on Friday...my Visa remembers $120.
well after we realized that his best friend and my twin sister were hooking up it was kind of an unsopken agreement that we would too
Is it creepy to message a girl and say you had me at stocked liquor cabinet?
id pay someone 5 dollars to tell me whos house im at right now. comfy couch though
Just made nachos out of string cheese and sunchips and laying in my bed watching babay einstion..get on my level
he's like a stage 5 clinger and he won't even fuck me. he has to be gay. my personality isn't really THAT great.
So he ended up throwing a watermelon that he stole from the cafeteria saying "if i cant have it no one can" of the 5th floor.
So another one of your girlfriends from middle school had a baby. Thank god you are gay, otherwise you would definitely be a dad by now.
I think we can all agree that the size of her boobs, combined with beer, is destroying my ability to judge looks.
Commuter bitches be judging your sister and her bag fulla wine. It's a motherfucking rosé, bitch!
So is it safe to say that my only objective from last night is to finish this entire jar of peanut butter?
the dude in the apartments across the street got a video of me railing blake on your front steps last night
shit like this is why i dont let you drink vodka anymore ..
Today is National Blunt Day in the Great State of Me. Come ovah
You’re like one of those doomsday preppers, but for your vagina
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