oh right, i forgot that not everyone has a go-to blowjob
6 figure salary? he just got a little cuter.
I can die happy now, I have been kicked out of strip clubs on six different continents
Slut skills are useful in every country.
she said they gang banged her to "who let the dogs out." the dude left of the middle barked along. sounds like a good time.
2nd semester senior, always drunk. at this point if i don't get a good parking spot, i turn around and drive home
I spent ten minutes questioning her on what kind of cup she wanted... Then I asked what kind of water she wanted..
WOAH TOO HIGH
On a completely different note: my hookup and i are now in a semester GPA competition. Winner gets froyo and sexual favors. School just got interesting.....
Would you like to get an apartment bong? It can be like our pet and we can give it a name.
I ran into a wall that clearly had things popping out. My eyebrow was bruised, both arms, the bottom of my foot. Lost half of my finger nail, my fake eyelash was stuck in my hair and I have about 47 blurry pictures of a half naked zombie DJ.
We got really high and he took a green marker and made my vagina into a Christmas tree.
Just because I stayed up all night betting on Australian Horse Racing doesn't mean I have a gambling program.
We are horrible
Yeah but we're also awesome
Just learned that the cute guy I've been flirting with at the beach this whole time is actually an inmate working in the community instead of being in prison.. My life is unreal
It's dangerous to be this horny at work. I'm gonna stain my desk chair
Randomize