dude, mark had the least successful cab ride in history last night. took a cab to the bars, stopped at every atm in the city, none worked, then had to come back to the party to beg for 20 to pay the taxi that officially took him nowhere.
Just boiled hotdogs in bongwater. NOT a good idea.
i'm having the hardest time convincing my roommates to go dumpster diving for pizza with me. i really miss you..
I've never been so embarrassed. It's like waking up as Fred Durst.
I'm lowering my standards just so I can get laid, but I draw the line when a guy spells cool kewl
Jesus told me in my dream not to go to the party. I am athiest for tonight PARTY ON
I took her to the bar and boom. All of my past slump busters were there. Shes cool enough to know what that means and said she was afraid they'd eat her so we left.
She licked my face when I was on the phone with a customer and I just laughed. Im not sure if thats good or bad
Just assume that every drink in that house has alcohol in it.
why am i naked
you took off your clothes at the party and some guy took them home
nothing like a long car ride to make you think of all the bad things you've done
I now know he's been cheating for a while. I also know HER name, address, phone number, Facebook account, religion and zodiac sign. I feel like I'm earning my restraining order. Point is, never fuck over a librarian.
There are some people who should not be trusted with a cell phone while drunk. You know your one of them when you call the cops on your own party.
I think I am just gonna marry that lesbian. She is more of a respectful gentleman than any of the guys I've slept with.
This town reeks of teen pregnancy.
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