I woke up this morning with I hate myself feeling
It was like his mom forgot to breastfeed him and he was making up for lost time.
The look I see on guys faces when they realize my nipples are pierced remind me of when my mom used to come home from the grocery store and surprise me with poptarts.
Ohmy god im about to fuxk my TA. i thyought this was a dream but i love you. <3
He took a picture with a naked dude. I think he just walked out of that deep ginger closet.
I really want to throw this drink in your face but it was 6 dollars that shits expensive
Just copped mushrooms from a dude in a business suit. U comin or what?
Just found my glass of wine on top of the litter box. Every argument ever is invalid.
Just to clarify, I'm still tripping balls
On an unrelated note, I've come up with a theory of everything
I just want to have sex that doesn't end like a B-rated horror movie.
I need ecstasy. And, before you ask, the answer is yes right now
Damn you. I'm in a bar with Southern Jesus Fearing Blah Blah Rednecks WHO ARE PROBABLY VOTING FOR TRUMP and you go radio silent.
That dick was not the dick of a twenty year old
god i just can't wait for finals to end so i can just masturbate all day and night
I just found vampire teeth and a moustache in my purse. do you know why?
Randomize
