I would do horrible things to your vagina.
Prove it.
Help i just walked in on mom blowing dad
new midget porn idea. Wizard of Jizz: Munchkins Revenge
My number went up to seventeen today. I forgot to add my random hookup on a sailboat.
If a man's penis is referred to as "the family jewels" does that make a woman's vagina a jewelry box?
I found out why they kept calling her "CD". It was short for "Crab Dip". You're fucked.
There was an ice luge. Lets just leave it at that.
Now you know my pain. Live with it. Own it. Recognize it. Cause its like shitting napalm.
No more. You can't have nice things, and vodka is a nice thing.
My one regret (beside the inevitable shit storm that followed) is that now I can't fuck his cute friend.
Happy "I'm glad our dad made us sisters and then summarily downgraded himself to sperm donor" day.
man fuck you i am a delight. you're the one who fucking set his tree on fire while high
Just got hit on via LinkedIn..do I capitalize on this opportunity/land a job or reply something sassy
Yeah I know my dick is weird, but I've surprisingly had a lot of fun with it.
WHO CARES HE GIVES YOU TOE CURLING ORGASMS AND SAYS YOU HAVE KISSABLE SKIN AND RUNWAY MODEL HAIR....WHILE INTOXICATED WITH HIS BEST FRIEND. AND THEN HE SENDS YOU CUTE SELFIES OF THEM!!!!!!! WTF MORE DO YOU WANT FROM LIFE!!! DIE HAPPY ALREADY LADY!!!
Randomize
