I'm sorry, but there's just something about mesh over nipples that irks me.
just saw a guy try to order booze in his coffee at 8 am.
If I was doing exactly what I wanted right now I would be getting fucked on a jet ski while listening to "When Love Takes Over" by Kelly Rowland while eating french fries.
You can't date a girl from every country.
I'm the captain planet of women
guess who has a date tonight
look at you growing up, going on dates before she hops into bed
i just sold back the books i vomitted on
The plants looked thirsty. Growing plants need mimosas too.
Nothing like a little anal leakage to start off Sunday morning. Can't decide if that speaks well of my weekend or not...
Some ambulance just rolled up to this bar and this girl just hops out of the back and walks inside
gave him road head on the way to his grandparents house. purposely didn't let him finish, the sexual tension over turkey was indescribable.
Everything was yummy and fruit flavored and five alive and happymeas.
I was just asked by a police officer to not come back to Lancaster...
It's almost sad. It's like the Harambe of vagina stories really.
Drunk text the hot guy two doors down confessing my love for him.... He gave me a thank you card today.
so we’ve decided to fuck for our own health
Randomize
