If it were my dying wish, would you come over 2nite 2 save me?:):):) wana come anyways?
You work out of a Hotel?
I couldn't get internet on my iPod in this hotel room for porn, so I made due with UFC.
I'm not sure what to say to that.
I'm driving in the middle of nowhere, and I just saw a stuffed Barney hanging from a noose on a tree. Maybe I should turn around.
I bought the tickets, he brought the weed. thanks to you, we had to roll a joint out of my bible paper.
four loko is apparently banned in the us. so i think its time for us to stock up. i already emailed them about buying them in bulk
I'm not being over dramatic, but I think my heart is going to stop beating.
I knew the night had taken a turn when we showed up and our flabongo was being chilled in the freezer.
I said "have a good day officer and I'll see you friday when I get arrested for being too drunk.."
I was informed that last night we held hands while puking on the curb outside the bar.
We just have a real special relationship.
Until she magically finds a brain, I'm going to be a dick. Fair trade. She's a idiot, I'm an ass.
Unless you're gonna start buying my underwear, you have got to stop ripping it off of me.
I actually have to watch Breaking Bad to make me feel better about my choices last night.
My bad man. I was at a strip club, and apparently it's like a big deal to take your phone out in one of those places.
He came over and fucked me while my conference call was on mute. Working from home is the best.
Randomize
