Dude ! Why is there vomit with whole pieces of sushi in the shower when the toilet is not more than 2 feet away ? btw you need to chew your food better,
he suggested we appoligize to eachother. then do blow and painkillers & have ourselves a make-up party.
You ended at least 6 stories with "and that's why I don't snort coke anymore"
I've got 15 minutes to eat dinner and drink a 40. Four years of college has all been training for this moment.
Not to make her into that kind of girl, but she did have a condom mural
You were like pukeahontas last night, you tried to tell us you were okay, then you puked in the garden.
Then he said something about how from that angle I looked just like his mom.
Friend date it is then. Question: Can friends engage in sexual activities after dates?
Then she looked me straight in the eyes and asked me if I missed my foreskin. Weirdest conversation ever.
You invented a drink at the bar and named it Boner Soup. It was like an even trashier version of a long island iced tea
So apparently I initiate sex in my sleep
You showed me your butthole that's like a mating call in other species
Thanks a lot dude. I'm grateful to you for your gift of pure piss.
Uess honpr I rememebrt hEzS cuter
You'll have to translate that into sober in the morning.
You shouted “im bobby labonte!” In the process of shoutgunning a beer. He said you were too redneck for him...
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