She can't drink and she can't smoke weed. She might as well be dead to me.
Found out why I didn't have to go drug test. My boss grew pot to pay for grad school.
Hahah fuck. I keep looking to make sure that stupid line doesn't show up when my guards are down. Babies can sense fear.
If you're not on crutches for breakfast, I'll feel like I've failed you.
Male strippers are involved. You are coming
He got kicked out 3 times. I have no idea how he kept getting back in. I saw him walking on the highway the next morning.
I am alternating between eating dry cheerios and mint chocolate chip ice cream with a fork. Please love me because no one else will
If it makes you feel any better about life I'm wearing yoga pants with granny panties and toms with socks cause fuck my life
Just traded a sandwich for anxiety drugs outside the club. I fuckin' LOVE this place.
new low: I blocked him from seeing my snapchat story in hopes he will text me because he'll be afraid I'm dead or something
Jello shots? I thought you weren't drinking tonight.
Im not drinking im slurping
You mentioned his name and i threw up a little.
I've been drunk texting you for weeks, and you watched me puke outside your house... I say it's time we meet in person.
By the way, you're like fucking spiderman. I've never seen someone climb out of a car window that fast and eloquently.
so on the street and some kid is chanting "cheeseburger, cheeseburger, cheeseburger!" while pumping his fist in the air. i agree.
Randomize
