I tried karate at age 7 and quit after realizing it conflicted with watching new episodes of "Full House."
i took a field sobriety test yesterday. a crowd gathered, watched me pass it and applauded. then the cops arrested me because i took a bow and fell over.
Dont you think its a little early in the relationship for sexting?
I sold my books for weed money!
Finals don't start for a week...
Guess who just hooked up with the cop that fingerprinted her?
The cops knocked on our door just to ask us if we were really having a no-pants party.
He fucked a girl named Oreo... He deserved syphilis.
I am going to dream of scrotums tonight, I just know it.
Today is going to be the longest game of "was that a fart, or do I need to go wipe?" I have ever played. Maybe the most challenging too.
The claw marks on my back are healing nicely. Just thought you should know.
My bad. Next time I'll wear mittens.
When everyone ask you tomorrow go ahead and tell them I'm the girl that fell of safe ride and was all bloody.
40s are totally the cure
She'll feel so accomplished if she finally gets to bang me.
In my top drawer right now, there are see's chocolates, condoms, weed, and my vibrator. One way or another, this is going to be a good night
I wanna be like, dude, I peed your bed. Like you laid in my pee. And we're not dating. You can find another fuck buddy who I'm sure won't piss on you.
Randomize