Hey when I die alone will you come by often enough so that my cats don’t eat my face?
kill, fuck, marry: alice cullen, hermione granger, ginny weasley.
damn... fuck alice for sure, I feel bad but i think I have to say marry ginny... and kill hermoine! I can't believe I'm answering this right now.
Tell her to not eat the pizza she threw up on.
How dare you send me a picture after midnight that isn't porn. You know the rules.
Howd you meet this guy?
I found him next to my pants on sunday morn.
Telling me that I would make a great "occasional fuck" was not appreciated.
Safe to say I relapsed into my old chatroulette drunk flashing days.
Most of the bar is playing trivia I'm playing destroy a relationship in twenty questions
Okay I take that back some girl just said pussy sweat. Get me outta here
He said my vagina is harder to escape than the Temple of Doom.
I responded with revoking his blow job privileges. Needless to say, he's learned his lesson.
I love how u said nothing about the sidewalk sex but refused shower sex
i woke up this morning with a fake eyeball in my pocket
fuck st louis. fuck their hockey. fuck their basball. fuck their football if they still got it. fuck their tiddlywinks teamm. fuck their ribs. fuck their entire city. what im trying to say is i dont like st louis
the coup got in the way of sex but inauguration day came thru we did it joe
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