I'm surrounded by dudes and fupa's! No hot chicks...wtf!?
Medical industry, most hot chicks dont want to deal with blood + shit
friends don't let friends hook up with gingers.
There are sesame seeds in my vagina. This cannot be explained with logic.
It seems to me that once you begin comparing Jesus to hercules and calling him a super pimp you should put the wine away...
i walked outside and you were driving up the stairs to her apartment
You came in as I got off work, ordered us jack and cokes. Put them on my tab, and then proceeded to fall asleep on the bar.
Invited the whole bar back to my place for an after party.....shit got real with everyone seeing dad drink moonshine like a champ.
I just blocked a guy on grindr for having a little dick. See? I do have standards.
So she just had an emotional breakdown over a birthday card with a peacock on it. Yeah. She's pretty drunk, but we made it home safely.
This gem of a conversation has been brought to you be weed
Based on your 5AM twitter activity I gather you found MORE FREE COKE??
He stole my heart. I stole his identity.
Plan before tomorrows interview: wash off green glitter from EVERYWHERE!!!
Guess who won a basket of sex toys in front of his parents, aunts, uncles, sister, and cousin...
So she was amazing, that's what. Idk if it was the blow or the blowjob, but both my heads are still tingling.
Randomize
