I thidmdmk you'gre a special person
You don't give head? I'm offended and I don't even have a cock...
I dont have enough money in my bank account to buy a pregnancy test. this wouldnt be the first time ive had to steal one either...
I seriously dont think i have ever ridden a horse sober.
I think I explained what happened in the voicemail. But I think I might have just cried and ranted about how cool osiris shoes are
Srsly this has gone to far. Just broke my nose on the toilet. College bars.
Beware of calls from Dad. I just had a longer than I would care to admit convo about the ididarod. Apparently it starts tomorrow.
Either I'm deep cleaning my apartment out of severe academic procrastination or I'm subconsciously nesting and need to take a pregnancy test.
He wanted me naked, so I got naked. You can't hold that against me.
I picked a bad day to wear the catch me fuck me shoes.
Did someone catch you and fuck you?
So hungover. I dropped my keys and leaning over seemed a terrible idea. Instead I took my shoe off in the middle of the street and use my toes to pick them up. Think I'm a genius.
Idk I'm drinking Sam Adams and wearing new balances so I'm basically a dad
I'm pretty sure my roommate is moving out because her cat likes me better
I am attempting to break the habit of calling him daddy.
Here's a rundown of my night alone. Danced my ass off in the kitchen to FleetmacWood. Drank a little bit. Ordered $40 worth of Chinese food once the drinks kicked in. Picked up said Chinese in dirty sweatpants and slippers. #livinglife
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