In retrospect, it was a terrible idea, going down on her with these ulcers in my mouth.
i just threw up in a potted plant at home depot
According to google history I spent most of last night trying to buy an elephant.
please tell me you didn't have sex with him in the bathroom...
Does an alley count?
I don't remember much, but my night is dated pre-Jaeger and post-Jaeger. Also, my boss may or may not have tucked me in.
Im calling him
was mistake calling. If you drunk dial someone you deserve to choke on a tubesock. Take the advice. Always remember
I can feel my ovaries exploding thinking about them.
Okay, I just got to our real hotel and the YMCA may have been a better choice. A man w/ no shirt on
For graduation he gave me roses, a giraffe necklace, and a butt plug. I think this might be my one shot at true love
Come over. We're getting stoned and watching DogTV
I don't care how hot he is. I will not strip for him to country music.
as I was leaving in the morning with his clothes on his roommate pops up and goes 'don't you dare steal that shirt, i gave it to him for his birthday'.
Whenever I have a bad day I just look at the negetive pregnancy test I keep in my purse and remind myself things could be alot worse.
Have you actually looked at the corn flakes box? I don't think the rooster has a soul.
Is there a way to use porn to inspire him to have dirty thoughts? Like the movie Inception except with more lube and orgams?
Randomize
