Gordon Ramsey's restaurant in NY is $150 each for the chef's menu
So you're taking me there this weekend?
oh, looks like he just opened a new restaurant right by us- it's called "McDonald's". Must be scottish food.
We were done making out and had been asleep for a hour. I felt him put his hand on my butt. Then I farted.
I was at circle k buying gas and this girl in a papa johns uniform comes up and is like " I've got a bunch of extra pizzas. Large peperoni for $5." then she went to her trunk and pulled one out. It felt like a drug deal for a fat person
they started playing Don't Stop Believin' and you had a melt down because it wasnt the Glee version
Are you for fucking real.? He divorced me just because he got a fucking girlfriend.?!
if you count grabbing my crotch as an introduction then yeah i got a couple of those tonight
I'm shutting down my vagina temporarily...it's like the last two weeks were a going out of business sale...and now it needs a break...
Woke her up in the middle of the night with the smell from a fart. So proud of my colon.
He is indeed a crazy mutha fucka. But mark my words. MARK MY WORDS. My job has placed me at the same party as Tom Cruise. I. Am. Fucking. The. Crazy. Out. Of . That. Alien . Fucker.
I was living a snoop dogg song I fucked her on the floor so I wouldn't mess up my bed
And if I could both stabilize myself *and* pick things up with my penis... Well, I wouldn't be on the fire dept...
Their first impression of me was that I was completely naked. So yeah college hasn't even started yet and I'm already that person.
So my new thing apparently is getting wasted, showing people my slytherin socks and convincing them I'm slytherin..because why not
Its one thing to reject me, but to reject me AND my hottest friend AT THE SAME TIME!?!?
Last night we proved the theory that "harder" is the worst rough sex safe-word ever.
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