i love that we sang a whole new world together while you carried me through campus
I'm playing the Jersey Shore drinking game by myself at my mom's house. Things like this are not okay after college.
yeah, but i heard shes schizophrenic
i wouldn't even care dude, i'd fuck her and all 7 of her personalities.
Maybe someone other than the mad hatter should have gone with him to the ER
We're lucky we aren't prostitutes by now. Whats the etiquette for returning a pair of heels with blood on them?
Congrats on having the best tasting nipple at the bar last night.
He just turned 21, it's very obvious the end of their relationship is near. Now we play the waiting game.
If it snows I'm just gonna sit at my house in my costume and drink beer by myself all night.
Apparently I've been blackout drunk doing abstract algebra on the floor
Nothing like the It's a Small World ride at Disneyland to remind you to take your birth control. I took it on the boat yesterday
danced like there was no tomorrow. surprise. there's a tomorrow
No ive been in the mountains getting high and baking cookies with a 4 year old
Most people would agree that it IS in fact slutty to give someone head for free ice cream.
Tripping over coffee tables hurts shins but face is okay bc I landed on a sofa.
my mom walked in on me eating her out, and i can never kiss my mother again.
Randomize
