Me. At least after what I've been through.
you threw up in the oven last night. i found that out after i preheated it to cook a pizza.
he asked me to eat out his asshole. after five minutes of uncomfortable staring i realized he was serious.
She never called back. Financed a fleshlight.
definitely just fell out of bed trying to plug in my phone. when did laziness start getting painful?
Preparing for thanksgiving at home now by chugging bourbon. Less than a month to train!
I'm in his phone as "nashville blowjob" he also has "cleveland blowjob" "vegas blowjob" etc. i'm okay with this.
Shots. Renamed a guy (he looked like a Scott to me), running, bloody Marys, walk to Safeway, donuts, ride home from someones husband, Nurse Jackie. FIN.
Breakfast Clubbing as Juggalos. I can feel our IQs in freefall.
Just seen a chubby version of you. Nearly kidnapped her. Perfect woman
She was about to leave with you until you started singing "You Hoes Ain't Loyal" in her face
He saved that picture of my boobs for good luck romance still exists
what food is Colorado known for?
Pot brownies.
I have like three friends I don't have sex with, what did you expect
there is glitter all over my balls
Randomize
