i only hope i can top last weeks sext session
If I remember taking any of my finals after tomorrow night, it will not have been a successful night.
For his 21st I'm getting a fancy hotel that way he can at least sleep in a nice bathtub
My favorite part was walking in the bathroom, you fixing yourself in the mirror, calling your reflection a fag, then throwing a haymaker into the paper towel dispenser before going back out to the bar.
DDing is such a bittersweet job, just got the entire history of this girls hookup career
At the party. I feel like I just walked into a lifesize blunt.
Just remembered when I bought that round of shots I told the girls to "get their whore friend" who was making out with her bf instead of drinking. I don't know why they stayed.
your like the ambassador to my penis.
Did we seriously just get into a fist fight over kit kats?
The alcohol tastes like we did a beer run at the nail salon
fell down stairs ended up in underground bar now im dancing with trannies and best night of my life. lines of coke
I know he’s a bad decision but he's casual, his penis is amazing and his technique is on point.
So basically he is jobless, a potential serial killer, and has poor taste in music? We simply don't have time for that.
AND ONCE AGAIN, MY VAGINA HAS STRUCK AGAIN. HER PLANS TO TAKE OVER MARYLAND ARE WELL ON THEIR WAY AS SHE CONTINUES TO ENGULF EVERY QUEER IN A 10 MILE RADIUS
My drunk is wearing off and im starting to feel like this dolphin tattoo was a bad idea.
Randomize
