Bea Arthur died yesterday
You shut your stupid mouth
Betty White is next, I just know it.
Betty White will never die! She's like Dick Clark. Rue McCalahan is next.
hey call me
can't. in the shower.
... and this is probably why your phone does not work half the time.
My wrist bandage is guacamole stained. What an accurate representation of my life as a whole
having my hair in braids makes puking so easy. i am being an indian every halloween
Fucking him was like shopping for my first training bra.. Embarrassing yet extremely useful
I rode on his Vespa around Florence and fucked him in an empty train. It was like a way sluttier version of Lizzy McGuire
The best part about being single is knowing how much everyone secretly creeps behind their gf/bfs back. You wouldn't believe..Have a great date night!
About to be a 4Loko vomit fountain in 45 seconds, what color will it be? Animated birds will fly out of me.
Just bought weed from the ice cream man. The kid in front of me got a tootie fruitie.
Just found some confetti on my nipple if that's any indicator of how the night went
No it was fine, I've just never seen that many people eat dog food
Just smoked the bong while taking a dump. I love living by myself.
A blind guy just told me that even he could see i was gay and encouraged me to chat up the girl behind that counter bc he thinks we'd make a cute couple. Are all Canadians this helpful?!
I really appreciate you taking the time to blur out my excessive boob cleavage for instagram
3 hour lecture of my biology teacher talking about isotopes and space shuttles. I'm way too high for this.
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