her dad's the mattress king, she's genetically engineered to be good in bed
while fucking on the counter the whip cream was conveniently right next to us. i love thanksgiving
we've progressed from teabagging to lighting eachothers asses on fire. this cannot be a good path.
my mind is a poorly written porno when i'm drunk.
she went to her friend's wedding and caught the bouquet. as the unwilling rebound, can i run away now?
Currently flirting with a 57 year old. Why do i do this
Bring fortys. we have the duct tape. its onnn mothafuckaaaa
Is there a reason there's a dick print on my seventh-story window?
Just like to put it out there it's surprising how little reception a dog cage has
the only good thing about going home with him was that he was prettier than me.
So much easier to puke and rally now that my gluten's under control
we are the apple cider girls!
Is it bad that I've been making new friends through your vagina networking? I don't think so
He told me he was gonna go wash a trailer and somehow I ended up eating vodka fruit with children in a green bean field.
what could you have possibly accomplished by watching 6 hours of a mythbusters marathon
well, i added sex in a wind tunnel to my bucket list
We met behind our asshole boss's back with the intent to oust him from the company. If this revolution is a success, bring nachoes.
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