I know right? mind you this is the same woman who told me when I was 12 that oral sex just meant talking dirty
so i'm sitting in his room drinking tequila from the bottle and watching harry potter. he's jacking off to some porn a couple feet away from me. at one point i look over and see that he's watching me instead of the porn. please help me figure out how warped it is that i found that romantic
Housing came buy and confiscated our shopping cart :(
Now have a vodka water and get your shit together
I was pissed last night bc this girl didn't want to have sex but offered to reimburse me for the condoms. That just made me upset
I've been drunk in my life. But I've never been "crying in 5 Guys at 1 in the afternoon" drunk
Dude, I had no choice. I was defending my genitals.
Somehow I've got the party rigged to where I get a foot massage every time someone wants a beer out of the fridge. Hellz yeah
You told the cop you where the star of the Track team and tried to run away. So yeah, i'm not surprised.
If you get any calls give me a heads up. Im drinking rum in my underwear on the back porch.
if they didn't want us to do blow at uni, why would they make textbooks so smooth?
We told him to puke in the Denny's parking lot or we wouldn't be his friend anymore. So he did. He wasn't even drunk.
Truth. Though I have held steadfast to the notion while the rest of you wavered. I had faith in his homosexuality.
Gameplan: If the cops show up, find a potted plant to hide behind... It's worked before!
Three cheers for handling my crush on my boss in an entirely reasonable manner, by having a threesome with my coworkers.
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