Ambien. No doubt about it.
i have nine cents in my fucking bank account... not even a dime
Watching Miami Social reminded me of how much I miss snorting coke with burger king straws in a life guard hut on the beach until we noticed someone was drowning.
Did you save them?
Who?
The freshman next to me just said "I was rocking out on my way here to Dave Matthews..." I wish I would have passed this class the first time.
These old men are woofing at me..PLEASE HURRY
Ok, it is technically a gay bar but it's a total dive w/ strong drinks. The important thing is you can start drinking at 11:00 am without judgement
oh oh oh, and apparently you can bring in your own snacks. Some old dude just gave me cashews and cheetos.
Most adult booty call ever. Ha. We got down to business and still got to watch the colbert report.
Love you too. There are very few people I let pee in my dishwasher.
As I was puking, these 2 guys started peeing next to me chanting me on
He's not drinking on his 21st. Shooting vodka infused Nerf bullets at him would just make a mess and I don't want to be a creep and spike anything... I don't understand awkward boys
Do you think they'll deliver pizza to my mouth
The guy I'm talking to drunk texted me his essay last night and he asked me to revise it
Hey when you get home, can you do me a solid and throw one of your pregnancy tests on my bed?
EPT or First Response?
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
Just made a secret hand shake with my sisters cat. Boredom at its finest.
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