you can't get genital warts from dogs can you?
Bartending School is so much more enjoyable now that I realized I was in rehab at this time last year.
Just violated the laws of fuck-buddyship and talked to him about my personal life. I don't like it.
cheating on your boyfriend is the best diet ever, I've barely eaten in days. The guilt is killing me
The president of the frat said he was honored to award me "Best Overall Blow Jobs", free admission to all their future parties, and a $20 gift certificate to Denny's. I'm not sure if I feel proud or if that's just the burrito coming back up...
Also, what are the symptoms of syphilis?
where are you guys? the police just woke me up on the couch outside.
He's telling everyone that the only reason he's at this party is to hook up with me. SOS HELP.
so it turns out the huge bruises on my knees are from drunk bmxing and not getting railed from behind on the ground
and ill have you know that I only wiped out twice
No, dude...I agree it's great in theory but I promise you that 80 drunk 21 year old sorority girls together in one room for formal is one of the worst drama filled ideas ever. Ever.
I think my dove chocolate wrapper just told me to masturbate.
is it wrong to hook up with someone at a memorial drum circle
WE'RE NOT MAKING A DICK PIZZA OKAY
Is it completely inappropriate to base my morning after pill purchase on if they sell coffee or not?
On a happier note, I can fit in my old shorts. Dope does have its perks
i'm gonna crowd surf you onto his dick
Randomize
