It's like the Sean Connery of vaginas. You don't mess with it.
you poured 3 beers into an empty vase and then passed out, so i drank them for you. don't say i'm not a good friend.
her tits were misleading. turns out she wasn't cool, smart and funny
I have no idea. Next thing I know we're all down on one knee saying the pledge of allegiance and then singing I'm Proud to be an American. Then Trevor ate pizza off the sidewalk.
Saw the college gyno today. It has now been medically confirmed that I have a perfect vagina.
I'm going to superglue stuart's hands into socker boppers
Ya these assholes wanted to like sit around and eat cupcakes and watch the notebook. I was like fuck you, I want to go make some people uncomfortable in public.
Yeah. Rock bottom was him passing out and saying "are you putting a condom on me?" and me covering his mouth and saying shhhhh
I mean, yeah, she was cheating on me but I've been fucking her brother. My secret relationship trumps her secret relationship.
And have you ever tried to explain a hickey to your own grandmother?
Pretending to be completely fried so the odd girl next to me doesnt suspect im simply staring at her.
I just told the sun to stop. That hungover.
Who put the fucking tampon in my Mike's hard lemonade?
What do you mean? Just eat his food and have sex with him. Unless you want a relationship, then just eat his food.
You started yelling about vegans ruining the world. Because we drove past some cows eating grass.
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