Your mom is more observant then Randy Newman.
I've never seen so many strippers at a funeral...
I'm sorry that spending new years with you was fucking my boyfriend in your bathroom multiple times
You coming bye my yot got egg sweet carilne vodklaa
After what was supposed to be a one night stand I woke up to a message in my room wall written in marker "Kaitlin got it on in here" definitely a cock block down the road
I woke up tied to my bed while she was in the corner staring at me while eating cereal. Interesting night!
In the last 3 months, I've slept with an ex,someone single, someone in a relationship, someone married, and someone divorced. I should get some type of grown up girl scouts badge.
he just kept texting even after we lit his shoelaces on fire. he just calmly walked into the pool... still texting.
Sometimes I just want to kiss you without you pulling ur cock out and waving it at me
Yess he was literally so drunk that like at one point I'm pretty sure he thought it was hard and in when neither were true :/ haha
I'm trying to watch Chicago PD and tell you I like your dick at the same time. It's a lot of work, ok?
On the way home she told me she was in kindergarten when 9/11 happened
I'll explain later but I just had to legally commit to abstinence for the next 4 months
oh you can't commit, don't have any real ambitions, and love to drink PBR? well.... sign me up!
I did what i always do when i miss him; masturbate and watch Bridges of Madison County.
Randomize
