It says i should accept HIV aids as my friend on facebook.We have 12 friends in common. I need new friends.
Her brother was practicing the clarinet....it was like having sex in a starbucks
So, remember how that one doctor said it was 1 in a million that I'd get pregnant...
Yeeah thank god
Well..welcome to parenting Mr. one in a million.
Its important to me that you know there is a tambourine down my pants.
Im sorry that my initial plan of you grabbing his dick didnt work out but Im glad you grabbed his heart
They fucked on my pong table last St. Patty's and broke it. I feel like I should be hiding my new one. Would hate for a tradition to form.
Until you find your self finger banging supergirl in the middle of the dance floor while her friends are passing around for luigi mustache for a photo op, YOU HAVE NOT HIT MY LEVEL
I'll be there soon. I expect Advil and a bucket of kittens when I arrive.
i know i shouldn't tell you this since i want you to really like me but i just spent the last 4 hours sleeping on the toilet.
you should probably know that there's a naked dude in your window
i wouldn't normally say anything but you seem to not be there
So if a girl goes for it you're gonna stop her and tell her you gave up ejaculation for lent?
I just want to emotionally destroy him but also find out how big his dick is so this is perfect
Oh and an honorable mention for your father's porn collection. Things I'll never forget.
They cut me off when I tried to pee in the corner of the bar.
I'm seriously scared right now. Woke up next to 3 geese and a lot of feathers ..
Randomize
