the power's out. i'm smoking weed by flashlight
i wish i was dedicated to anything like you are to weed
Apparently 151 is to me what spinach is to popeye.
So about class tomorrow..... i,ll be there. But I may be still a bit drink and wearing a suit. I'll explain when I get there.
there is a baby dancing on the table amidst the smoke of multiple cigarettes. i want to trade lives with that baby.
I just made a steamroller out of a christmas ornament. I feel so festive.
Either way you look at it, I'm a slut. But either way I look at it, I'm having a fucking blast.
The trip involved octopus tentacles coming from the little holes in my TV's speakers. The beauty of the nonexistant symbolism had me in tears.
The Deck is crawling with Cougars. Sound the irresponsibility alarm and come drink with me on a Tuesday night.
And don't worry, my exact words were "I can't believe a baby came outta that thing"
Sorry I don't make house calls. You wanna get blown you come over here. It's like rock paper scissors but vagina ALWAYS beats penis
cops woke me up on the sidewalk and asked where my shoes are.. fuck if i know, im sleeping on the sidewalk! actually i didnt say that, i just cried until they gave me a ride home.
If I woke up in a pillar of smoke I suppose that's a sign right
You know it's bad when I'm eating a cold chicken breast alone in bed 😕
I love you as a roommate, but you GOTTA start using the door dude..
He makes me want to cheat on my other 3 boyfriends..
Randomize
