we took turns throwing up in the kitchen sink last night...no i am not doing the dishes
I woke up in the penthouse and did lines off the to of the fireplace. This is not real.
So I'm drunk playing pool in a bar with a guy I arrested last week for a DUI...if he recognizes me, shit's gonna get real.
Breakfast Clubbing as Juggalos. I can feel our IQs in freefall.
Shotgunning beers to finish a midterm project at 3am is a good idea right?
Officially drug you out of White Castle last night by the hood on your sweatshirt after you cussed out the attendant and stole the satisfaction guaranteed sign because they were closed!
And then we felt it necessary to continue drinking for another 4 hours, yikes
What is your life?
A tangled mess of finals and bad decisions.
I told her shower beers are even better when you have someone in there with you and she said she's been looking for a new drinking buddy. It's a goooooo
The feeling are messing with the penis
Sex with him is like pizza, it can be shitty but its stillll pizza.....
Youre having a picnic
Yeah but all we have is vodka, so it's getting a bit out of hand.
Vasectomy results are in. No swimmers in the water. REPEAT. No swimmers in the water. Come help me harness my new found super-power
Well if I can't snuggle you, I might as well snuggle a stranger's cat.
i'm really sorry, but i'm just not sober enough to make good decisions.
Just puked in front of a high school tour group. Based on the standing ovation, we have a solid group of freshman coming in this fall.
Randomize