See it, we're so close, i smell your vagisil
he woke me up at 3 am to ask me where my plunger, a towel, and staples were. i'm afraid to go into my bathroom.
I pulled down his boxers and a 20 dollar bill fell out. I'm telling you, the blowjob fairy EXISTS
I just woke up wearing the O-ring from my dildo harness as a bracelet. Classy.
You asked me to be the big spoon, when you passed out on the stairs
If turning my entire backyard into a slip-n-slide is wrong then I don't wanna be right
I am now best friends with a lesbian named Zulu. I am pretty hammered already and made a game time decision to stay here another night,for partying purposes
Remind me again why a vodka watermelon can't be a thanksgiving dish
SOMEONE has to puke in the potted plants at an Xmas party. As their boss I felt it should be me.
btw my frat has a search out for you. the "girl who threw up in the middle of the party" but it was on some fat girls. so thank you.
So red wine goes with eggs, right? Because that's all I have in the house to cook and the drinking options are either wine or scotch
Stop getting drunk and running away. I can'tell chase you. Iim in heels and have big boobs. Running is a bad idea for me.
You ruined a cute cat because your lack of horniness
maybe i should limp back to therapy...
oh yeah will you also bring home vodka i wanna do shots on the roof
Florida is balancing how much this place sucks with how many vodkas you can have to cope in order to still be allowed on the plane to leave
Randomize
