I am I'm going to have heart failure he's peed on my life.
Kind of a slow process. Played 9 holes with her yesterday. Wish one of them was hers
The boys are giving me the exam answers and I don't even have to expose my body..yayy engineering!
Just found two Xanax on the floor at the tanning bed. And yes, Im taking them...looks like going to get cancer is paying off
one of the cashiers from Kroger is eating at my kitchen table and nobody knows why.
You're barking up the wrong lesbian.
I'm a little nervous about this St. Patty's Day party. Seriously, we're still finding stuff from the Halloween party.
Is there any chance I can see you without pouring vodka on your head?
I guess he was telling a totally normal story about being a lifeguard and I wouldn't stop screaming "THAT'S LUDICROUS" at random intervals.
The only difference is Iv never super glued straws to your nipples.
I woke up this morning with a sharpie tramp stamp. Pretty sure it's a picture of a squirrel.
Just walked by the neighbors and they are definitely butt naked sitting on a bed, watching Netflix, baked out of their minds, with the blinds open.
Welcome to Bellingham.
Can you send me the pic of me puking with a quesadilla on my shoulder
I can't believe you're forcing me to handle this hangover sober
So. Um. Hypothetically speaking...how would one get a squirrel out of the house?
Randomize
