dude u gotta turn down the techno when u bang that chick its creepy
I hate this i feel like im wasting my youth here. I should be off hooking up with boys around the world and having awkward next morning convos in different languages!!
I can feel you judging me through the phone.
At least drunk you showered before switching sex partners last night.
Close. The correct answer is shitting in a public toilet. We also would have accepted the pit of despair.
There's not an emojicons for I think I ripped my asshole and want to die.
It's that thing where you don't have any food so you just drink beer to get your needed calories for the day.
I just bought 7 working mopeds off a guy for $300. We are 60% of the way to our gay biker gang dream.
It's 4/20 of course I'm going to smoke in the portapotty and be ripped outta my mind at the lung cancer walk.
I SHIT YOU NOT a mailman helped me leave without waking him up.
Matt's offering to breast feed it.
Thank fucking Christ I was not wearing pants or eating chocolate cake last night.
I'm actually pinning crap for Friendsgiving like a boss right now. These bitches better show up.
Listening to The Little Mermaid soundtrack should cure my drunkeness right?
I'm giving drunk me full control of my body for the next few days. Please don't let me die.
Randomize
