I told her I was horny and she said to forget it because she has vagina drama.
WHAT IN THE HELL IS VAGINA DRAMA?!
the ex, the guy i cheated on the ex with and the rebound are about to form a beer pong team at my party. is it bad i feel accomplished my pussy brought their union together?
I wish i could put a picture of my ass of my resume...that seems to be the only way i will ever get hired
Please don't die.. At a gay bar... On a Wednesday. Obituaries are not allowed to be that entertaining.
Why have they been driving around the block for the past 30 min?
He told her it was international road head day.
im pretty sure your bra is in my room hanging on my shark pinata
bleeding from the face, sitting in a shopping cart and holding a wad of ripped caution tape. what else would i be doing?
My Valentine's Day plans just drastically changed... My F buddy just ran into my gf...in my driveway.
you had acid sex with the barista. why is my bucket list your tuesday?
Nothing says walk of shame like leather pants in daylight
I have a test in the morning in sign language about signs for drugs and alcohol use. Im drunk and rolling a blunt. I've never felt so confident about a grade in my life.
I think you're too young for vagina rejuvenation but I guess you have never been one to listen. Sounds good! You bring the Percocet ill bring the vodka!
I went on a psycho cleaning spree so I feel I've earned the right to spend the day in bed watching porn and eating sausage biscuits. If you bring alcohol you can join me.
All other girlfriends are inferior. You are the chosen one.
Could be all of this cough syrup, but I’m ready to fuck 2018 up!
She’s the kind of asshole whose face I want to put on a T-shirt just so I can go outside and burn it.
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