If i come over, it means nothing
Im doing kagels to the beat of Christmas music... "Jingle Bells" is hard. Try it.
you pissed in a zip-loc bag and wanted 60 dollars for it
Ya. I was the definition of a shit show. I woke up outside my door when my alarm went off
I got arrested for "public intoxication". Fuckers threw me out of the bar into public... i mean shit they have thirsty Thursdays. And I get thrown out for self serve Sundays plus a citation.
My mom had to physically restrain me because I wouldn't stop acting like a dinosaur.
Dude. Get me out of here. I'm surrounded by glitter-faced 40 year olds in halter tops. The desperation here is so thick you can taste it.
He just told me what he wants for his birthday. "a noise complaint" he also said he wants to be the cause of all the noise but he won't be the one making the noise.
I can tell right now that knowing you will either be really fun or ruin my life
So, I without a doubt haven't used the bag I'm now carrying since we were dating. Just had to discreetly throw out an unopened magnum in a bus station.
He meowed while sucking on my nipple, it got even weirder when he said he was trying to moo.
"Accidentally" bump into him after class.
I'm gonna "accidentally" put his dick in my mouth.
and i thought it was paint or jizz but it was cheese
please tell me you didnt taste test that
poll: am I friendzoned if he just called me brochacha? on one hand, he called me bro, but on the other, he used the a to make it feminine.
you were huddled over the toilet, throwing up, and every few seconds you'd look up and say "this is such a waste of vodka" then put your head back down and start puking again
Randomize
